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When she got her own flat, she had to take on extra work on top of her office job, including looking after her boss’s children to pay the bills.

Peter turned out to be incredibly messy and left bath towels and clothes all over the floor,’ remembers Claire.

Except that, according to psychologists, it doesn’t necessarily work like that.

On the contrary, several studies show that couples who live together before marriage are actually more rather than less likely to split up once they do tie the knot.

together because they think it will lead to marriage.

But they still want a man to propose, to put a ring on their finger, to say: “I will protect and look after you,” ’ says clinical psychologist Dr Helen Nightingale.

And when we moved in together we’d never argued over whose turn it was to wash-up or whether he’d left the toilet seat up.’ Five happy years on, Alison is certain that it was the right decision.

‘I think we just drifted into marriage,’ says Mark, 47, who is now living alone in a new flat.

A study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that about 19 per cent of those who cohabited before getting engaged had later suggested divorce compared with just 12 per cent of those who moved in together only after getting engaged and ten per cent of participants who did not cohabit prior to getting married.

Lead researcher Galena Rhoades, of the University of Denver, explained: ‘We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage just because they’re already cohabiting.’ This was the case for housewife Claire Canning, 43, who spent several years in her 20s unable to extricate herself from an unsatisfactory ‘live in’ relationship with her partner James. ‘I was very unhappy, but getting out of it seemed so complicated.’ Consultant clinical psychologist Janice Hiller sees this all the time.

‘And I think he found my healthy eating regime hard to adjust to.

But we were still in the first flush of love, so we negotiated our way around the domestic issues very quickly.‘I do think you probably lose some of the mystique when you live together — you don’t really want your fiance knowing how often you shave your legs or pluck your eyebrows.




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