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“I can’t handle this,” you might think to yourself. The main thing to remember is that, in most cases, your partner’s illness does not define him or her. It is another layer that you must now decide whether or not you can not only tolerate, but accept and live with. The best way to know how best to deal with the harder days is to learn as much as you can about your partner’s condition.

I am not only talking about what Web MD has to say about it.

Knowing what works for your partner and not just what you think will work best for them will make the ride a little less bumpy.

And, if your partner is just learning about the condition for the first time, too, make sure your partner knows you are with him or her for every step along the way.

As much as we try sometimes a relationship is just too much and time spent apart would do everyone some good.

Some mental illnesses and disorders are just too complex and debilitating for one person to handle alone.

Still, here are a few suggestions for how to try to make it work with a significant other who is struggling, or how to let them go. Some days will be effortless, and others may be draining.

The first thing that may come to mind when you first learn of your partner’s condition is to opt out. The answer is, you’ve gotten yourself into a relationship that you now realize may have a few additional obstacles, but what relationship doesn’t experience its hurdles anyway? That really depends on the nature of the condition as well as its severity.

You are both giving a lot to make the relationship work, more than a lot of other couples relatively speaking, so make sure to put everything into perspective. You spend the earlier parts of your relationship trying to “read” the other person; trying to make sure you’re both on the same page.Then, once you’ve passed that phase, it’s on to really getting to know the other person.On the flip side, if you know someone who seems to be on a downhill spiral with their condition, don’t scare your partner by saying, “look, I just don’t want you to turn out like Tom, Dick and Harry.” Again, that puts a lot of pressure on your partner, and pressure is the last thing that’s going to make him or her feel comfortable in his or her own skin and capable of dealing with his or her condition. Your partner needs to feel like you trust him or her, just as you would want to feel trusted by your partner.Don’t make your partner feel like they need to be on a leash or like you are his or her patient.

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