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If you’re not listening to the music, you’re not experiencing music.

Yes, I realize I’m speaking in metaphors, so let me tie this up: I don’t care if you of them is not your relationship – it is simply a thought in your head, completely irrelevant to the on-going music of your relationship.

It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is. Well, when you love someone, it is pretty effortless.

There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… It is true and pure – you don’t need them to be any certain way.

You feel like until you have this, you are not OK and will not be OK.

When you’re fixated on someone, your relationship ceases to be about enjoyment and effortlessness.

Granted, even good relationships have a little bit of fixation mixed in with them (I must emphasize a little bit), but it is only during very occasional occurrences like arguments or when one or both partners are stressed.So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.Instead of your guy feeling relaxed around you, he feels pressure (like he’s afraid to offend you or upset you).In general, though, compatible people have very little, if any, fixation in their relationships…People who have good relationships observe how they themselves feel in a relationship with another person (whether it’s a lover, a friend or a co-worker).

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